Extreme Boredom and Rap Battles with Young Justice
by Saiko17
Summary: What happens when you get a bunch of super-powered teens inside of a mountain with nothing to do for days? You get a bunch of super-powered, super bored teens, of course! When such boredom mixes with hip-hop, you can be sure that chaos will surely erupt.
1. Extreme Boredom and the Newbies

**Howdy folks! Man, oh, man, has it been a long time. I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while…Aw, who am I kidding? Really, how many people were sitting on their computers and checking my profile going, "When the hell is Saiko gonna post something? I can't wait any longer!" The answer is most likely none, but I'm cool with that. I'm busy, and I like it that way. Besides, I'd rather write a few great works that I'm proud of and people enjoy instead of churning out maybe not quite as good stories on a biweekly basis. I don't mean that I've been spending the last year or so working on this one story, but you get my point.**

**Anyway, I've had a big year. I think I've grown as a writer and as a person thanks to what I've experienced and what I've read. I think it shows in my writing, but I'll let you, my dear readers, be the judge of that. Enjoy and I plan on writing more often from now on. I had almost forgotten how fun this shit is!**

**Here's my first "Young Justice" fan-fiction and my fourth overall publication on FFN (although one of my previous works does have like 12 chapters). I went for a comedic angle here. I'm not sure how long this story will be…probably at least 3 chapters. I hope you enjoy it!**

**- Saiko**

Chapter 1: Boredome Invades Mount Justice (or, New Friends in the West)

To put it mildly, it was a slow day for the young heroes of Mount Justice. Batman hadn't given them any missions in nearly a week, Wally and Artemis were running out of things to argue about, and Megan and Connor's lips were inexplicably and severely chapped. Not to mention is was _Monday_. Monday in _Rhode Island_. Seriously, these kids were breaking the world record for most bored group of teens, _and they all have super powers_ (except Artemis and Robin, but who needs superpowers when Robin is The Goddamn Batman's protégé and Artemis has huge…arrows). In a nutshell, these young heroes were itching for activity. Unfortunately, their den mother for the week, Red Tornado, being an android and all, wasn't very fun or relatable; and he just hung out in the training room by himself, so there was no refuge from boredom there.

Anyways, our friends (sans Robin, who had yet to arrive at the cave and was probably on some super fun adventure without them) were watching paint dry in the living room—which had become a favorite pastime of theirs over the past few days in which they would each bet money on which spot on the wall would dry quickest; it was quite exciting (Wolf was undefeated)—when all of a sudden Wally lifted his head from his pillow and said in a tired voice, even though he had done nothing for at least a day, "Did you guys hear? I heard the League is starting a sister team on the West Coast; Young Justice West, or something." His head fell back down onto the couch cushion, where it seemed intent to stay for all eternity unless coaxed out by food, a mission, or boobs.

The rest of the team looked at Wally, either genuinely interested in what he was saying or just latching onto anything to occupy their attention one couldn't be sure. Artemis awakened from her coma on the floor and spoke up. "Nah. I haven't heard nuthin'. What's the dealio with this new team, Wallace?" she asked, her lips forming a soundless echo of the word "Wallace," an action that, if observed by a medical professional of any caliber, would be revealed to be, in fact, _not_ normal, and a sign that our little archer has gone completely insane with boredom and should be kept an eye on in case she goes on a Jack-Torrance-level killing spree.

Wally sighed as his brain rebooted from severe inactivity and searched for the information he knew about the new team in the West. "Well, I hear they've got some good talent coming in. Let's see, they've got some chick named Raven with, I dunno, _bird powers_ or something." He paused, in this lethargic state, the young speedster's mind was about as slow as, well, everything, compared to him.

"Oh!" he half-heartedly exclaimed as he remembered another teammate. "That one kid from the Doom Patrol is joining!"

"You mean the green one?" Zatanna asked from where she had been merging with the wall behind her. "Yea, that one!" Wally replied, thrilled to be having a conversation. "I hear he's got fangs and elf ears, too. _And_ he can turn into animals! And…and, get this: He can still talk when he's animal! Cool, huh? Now what _was_ his name? Animal Boy? Kid Creature? Um…" He tapped his fist against his forehead as he tried to remember.

"I swear I can actually _hear_ your brain overheating right now just by trying to remember this guy's name, Wally," Artemis teased. The team laughed at his expense.

"Ha ha, very funny, Arty," Wally retorted. "Why don't you tell us his name, if you're so smart?" He grinned into his pillow, proud at having beaten Artemis at her own game.

"It's Beast Boy, you idiot," she said without hesitation. Even though they couldn't see it, everyone in the room could practically _hear _Wally's face fall, along with his mood. "Oh," was all he had to say. He had lost.

After a moment of sullen moping, Wally perked up. "But wait! There are a few others!" The speedster had forgotten his defeat and met his second wind. "There's this guy they've got on the new squad, Cyborg; he's half robot and he's got super strength and shit!"

"Interesting," Megan said from where she and Connor had taken root in the armchair across from him. "Are there others?" She and the other heroes were starting to get interested in their new comrades.

"Wail shore!" [Well sure!] Wally replied in a pointlessly enthusiastic Southern accent. "Let me think…Oh! They've got speedsters too! These two Hispanic twins, Más and Menos, they can run as fast as Mach 1, but only when they're touching! How strange is that?" Miss Martian and Zatanna were now openly interested in these new teammates and Artemis and Kaldur were listening closely although they didn't show it quite as much. Connor seemed just about as interested as Wolf; that is to say, not.

"I think they've got Blue Beetle," said Wally, his brain now fully booted up. "He's supposed to have some kind of alien-tech armor bonded with his spine that gives him all sorts of weapons and abilities. This guy's like a real-life Iron Man!"

"Ugh. I hate Marvel's superheroes," Connor groaned.

"Why?" Kaldur asked.

"I have no idea. They just seem…inferior," he mused. Everyone nodded in agreement.

Kaldur looked up from his spot at the counter in the kitchen, making the nest that a pair of birds had been building on his head for the past day fall, much to their feathery chagrin. "So, there won't be any Atlanteans on this new team, then?" he asked, a little sad.

Wally gave him a weird grin that seemed to be a combination of comforting and teasing. "Nah, Aquabro, it seems there won't be any Atlanteans in the West," he replied, mocking sympathy. "However," he said mischievously as he looked at a confused and suspicious Miss Martian. "It would appear that our sister squad has taken in an extra-terrestrial of their own. Ah, yes, the lovely and powerful Tamaranian Princess Koriand'r, or Starfire, as the League has taken to calling her. This hot biddy can fly and shoot energy bolts from her…" he paused suggestively, earning himself an annoyed glare from Artemis and Connor, "…hands." He chuckled. "Not to mention she can throw a bus farther than Kid Superman can jump. Pretty sweet, right?"

Connor growled at the epithet but Megan calmed him down. _No doubt with a worried telepathic warning telling him he shouldn't get into it with me 'cuz he wouldn't stand a chance_, Wally joked to himself when he noticed the urgent eye contact the two aliens were making with one another.

The teens were glad that Wally had somewhat saved them from their monotonous prisons; however, once Wally had finished listing the seven members of Young Justice West, the crippling boredom that they had all thought, had all _hoped_ had gone, came back with a dull vengeance.

That was it. They were done. The monotony had finally broken them. They were all going to die like this; defeated by the very curse that plagued every teenager, both super and mediocre. They were beyond saving. _Fini. Hoffungslos. Terminado._

Suddenly, like the booming voice of a flaming sword-wielding Seraph from Heaven Above, a phat beat started blasting out of the Cave's loudspeakers, jolting our young heroes back to life, miraculously throwing them away from the edge of their own mortality.

"What the hell is that?" shouted Artemis above the hip-hop beat's filthy-ass bass.

As if to answer her question, the Cave's computer announced to the teenagers, "_Y'all better…Recognize, Robin. 01._"

The team got up and ran to the training room only to be stopped in their tracks by what they saw strutting out of the Zeta Tube.

END CHAPTER 1

**Well? What did you think? Not bad, eh? Please review and tell me what you think! It could be about anything: the characters, the grammar, spelling, and the plot, whatever you want. NO FLAMES. If you're a flamer or a troll, then fuck you. I don't want you to even read my stories. Constructive criticism only, please.**


	2. Robin's Raptastic Challenge

**What's happening, party people? I hope y'all enjoyed Ch. 1! Now it's time for shit to get real in Ch. 2, son!**

**I know that I'm uploading Chapter 2 really soon after Chapter 1, and I'm glad I'm able to because I'm really excited about this story; however, I just want to tell you guys not to get too used to the intervals between chapters being so small. The only reason why this chapter is ready so soon is because I drafted the first two chapters on the same day. Aw, why am I telling you this? You're all FFN readers and writers; you understand.**

**Anyway, I'm really excited about this story. So excited, in fact, I'm probably going to waste a lot of time in school drafting chapter 3 (I have terminal senioritis). **

**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far. I appreciate your positive feedback and comments. And now, without further ado, I give you Chapteeeeerrrrrrr Twwwwwooooo! Enjoy!**

**Oh, right, I forgot to do this in the first chapter so I'm going to do it here: I don't own any of the characters, places, names, furniture, or anything from this show. They are the property of DC Comics, Warner Brothers, and the Justice League.**

Previously, on Young Justice…

_That was it. They were done. The monotony had finally broken them. They were all going to die like this; defeated by the very curse that plagued every teenager, both super and mediocre. They were beyond saving_. Fini. Hoffungslos. Terminado.

_Suddenly, like the booming voice of a flaming sword-wielding Seraph from Heaven Above, a phat beat started blasting out of the Cave's loudspeakers, jolting our young heroes back to life, miraculously throwing them away from the edge of their own mortality._

"_What the hell is that?" shouted Artemis above the hip-hop beat's filthy-ass bass. _

_As if to answer her question, the Cave's computer announced to the teenagers, _"Y'all better…Recognize, Robin. 01."

_The team got up and ran to the training room only to be stopped in their tracks by what they saw strutting out of the Zeta Tube._

Chapter 2: Throwing Down the Gauntlet! Robin's Super Swag Attack?

The recently revived members of Young Justice dashed to the training room to find a thoroughly pimpin' Boy Wonder exiting the Zeta Tube. The young Grayson was swaggin' with a solid gold chain around his neck with a silver, ruby-studded R medallion hanging at the bottom. He was rocking a pair of custom Air Jordans that had a graffiti Batman logo embroidered on the side. The hero's usually black shades were now a fluorescent red with also glowing green decals. On top of his black, silky locks towered a red, green, and yellow flat-billed hat that still had the sticker on it (Robin had actually meant to bend the bill and remove the sticker, but completely forgot to in his excitement). His usual shirt was now a black wife-beater with a blue bird-like design on the chest, a design that he had grown progressively fonder of ever since the team's dismal mission simulation failure. In his right hand he held a jet black microphone with a red, yellow, and green cracking design on the handle. The man looked like he was about to go H.A.M., to say the least. Robin was explosively, offensively decked-the-fuck-out.

"_Day-_um!" Wally exclaimed, too awestruck and impressed to laugh at the Boy Wonder's appearance. The kid's ballsiness garnered major props from his #1 cohort.

Artemis looked both annoyed with the disturbance and relieved at the distraction Robin was creating. Connor had grown fond of hip-hop in the past few months, so he began bobbing his head to the lyric-less track, though his face showed his typical gruff annoyance. Next to him, Wolf was doing his favorite ironic dance move, the Cat Daddy, while Sphere was in her Super Cycle form and bouncing on her dope-ass hydraulics and glowing rims. Megan and Kaldur, being the most unfamiliar with this sect of popular culture, were very confused and seemed almost distressed. The Red Tornado was off to the corner, subtly tapping his foot and bobbing his head to the beat.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Robin?" Artemis shouted over the music, which required her voice to reach a volume so high that producing a sound of that caliber requires one to be completely freaking out, as Artemis clearly was.

Until Artemis had spoken to him, Robin hadn't said anything (because real gangstas don't converse; they get _conversed to_) and had been swaggin' like a G in the same place at the center of the training room. At last, Young Justice's youngest member's smirk split as he opened his mouth and began to spray it:

"Yo, Y.J.! It's time for a brand new tradition

That'll make all the honeys want yo' key in they ignition!

Now by the end of the day, an' I don' know if you know this,

I'mma stomp on yo' rhymes 'til y'all know who yo' King is!"

No one had any clue why Robin was being so pointlessly awesome or understood a word he was saying. The only one who seemed to understand what was going on to any degree was Wally and Red Tornado (for some reason); the former of which was now pacing back and forth and shaking his arms and neck as though he were loosening up for a fight while chuckling evilly to himself and saying, "Aawww naw" at varying volumes and lengths. The latter had stepped away from his corner and joined the young heroes in watching the Batman's protégé. Somehow the metallic hero had gotten a hold of a do-rag and a gold chain with a tornado-shaped, ruby-studded medallion. The team's den-mother-gone-ghetto had his arms crossed and had widened his stance as though he were preparing to fight and was now standing completely still and not looking directly at Robin, as though the teenager wasn't even there; his words inconsequential and unimpressive.

Robin took note of this underwhelming reaction and decided that he was going to make his den mother thoroughly whelmed. The Boy Wonder whistled through his fingers and Wolf (who had somehow got a hold of a red hoodie emblazoned with a golden R on its back) came bounding up to him and stopped at his side.

Should we do something? Megan's worried thoughts asked Connor and Artemis.

Definitely. But what the hell is someone supposed to do in this situation? Artemis replied as Robin put his hand on Wolf's leg and continued his raptastic tirade.

"Now let me and my dawg, here, explain a few things,

We ain't here for useless shit like diamonds and bling;

See there's a shitload of things more important than riches,

And at the toppa that list we got victory and bitches! Hit it!"

Immediately Robin and Wolf began performing what appeared to be a choreographed break-dance routine complete with jerking, air flares, stabbed windmills, and even the Bernie; all of which Wolf made seem surprisingly easy for a quadruped (it's amazing what illegal super-steroids can do, right, kids at home?).

Robin stopped dancing and stepped closer to his teammates, and Wolf fell in behind him while still performing his intimidating maneuvers. The group of dumbfounded-into-silence superheroes stared in awe at Robin as he continued to spit his fire:

"A war of poetry, a clash of rhymes,

Y'all ain't gonna forget this shit for the rest o' yo' lives!"

Suddenly, Artemis's eyes widened and she staggered backwards a few steps. "Oh, no," she whispered, clearly frightened.

"Oh, _yes_," Wally growled, still pacing and limbering up, his eyes narrow and his snarl intensifying.

Though still absolutely awe-struck, Superboy was the first to snap out of shock and voice his frustrated confusion. "Robin, what the hell is going on?" he shouted in Robin's direction.

Taking advantage of his friend's elementary yet fatal mistake, the Boy Wonder zeroed in on his new target. Robin squared right up against the much taller and much larger Superboy's body, his cocky, challenging face all up in Connor's grill:

"Oh, I'm sorry _Big S_; I didn't realize your hearing's down,

So I'll recite the facts fo' y'all, nice and slow now;

I said it's time to throw down, so let's cut the bullshit:

It's Rap Battle Monday, son! Think you can handle it?"

END CHAPTER 2

**Aaawww shit! It's going down now! Shit. Is. Going. Down, y'all!**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It took a lot more time to write than I thought it would, but it also came out better than I imagined it would. At least I think so. Why don't you tell me what you think?**

**Please review! I really like to get feedback on my writing. Comments, questions, suggestions, advice, grammar/spelling errors, what you liked, what you were iffy about. Just no flames. Again, if you post a flame, I'm not going to respond; so you can just go fuck yourself.**

**Anywho, I really do hope you liked this second installment of my latest project. And I hope you're as excited and curious as to what's going to happen in the coming chapters. Stay tuned and don't forget to review!**


End file.
